no moon, no pale reflection

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE A DRUG ADDICT AND THAT BUS IS A DRUG

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:11:47 GMT

- It is dumb to talk about vids when you can't find them on youtube, but uh sit back and pretend. There's a World of Warcraft commercial I saw today with two women playing as their characters in a supermarket. And I loved it, because the females weren't stereotypical ~*gamer girls*~, nor were they wrestling in bikinis. It was refreshing to see women with the same any-girl-off-the-street appearance that men would have in a commercial for something nerdy. (That's another thing: I was sure there'd be a bug-eyed guy staring at them or applauding at the end, but nope. Just ladies.)

- I booked my plane tickets for D*C and for staying at prix_etoile's house a week beforehand. Sooo psyched guys. I wonder if tickets for the aquarium are still available?

-

70 year-old Buddhist monk Hua Chi has been praying in the same spot at his temple in Tongren, China for over 20 years. His footprints, which are up to 1.2 inches deep in some areas, are the result of performing his prayers up to 3000 times a day. Now that he is 70, he says that he has greatly reduced his quantity of prayers to 1,000 times each day.

THE TRUTH HURTS, SO THIS SHOULD BE PAINLESS

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:27:55 GMT

Title: Monochromatic
Pairings/characters: Implied Anakin/Emma Frost, Anakin/Padme, others.
Summary: Anakin wears corsets.
A/N: Area42-verse.

Emma Frost swings open the door to her office one day and finds Anakin Skywalker sitting in her chair, reading her classified files, and wearing her iced blue corset, the one with white goosefeathers above the rump.

He stares at her.

And she thinks it's almost amusing -- being discovered like this will have finally broken him. He will spend the rest of his short, pathetic life in a cell in the Brig, utterly insane and making noises and fashioning a Padme action figure out of a cylon's ear wax. At the funeral, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Andrew Wells will give Emma a dark look; "How dare you leave your laundry where he could find it?"

But right now, Anakin's eyes are popping out of his head. He stopped singing in a bastardization of Emma's voice as soon as she entered. Anakin just sits there in his psychologist's office chair, jaw dropped in shame. The sparkly cups of the corset's bra are empty. There are little sparkly twisties where his nipples would be. They do not twirl. There is no dancing to be had.

She clears her throat. This is the last straw, and she wants him to break down now. She doesn't want to wait for the theatrics. Emma doesn't want time to consider that maybe, just maybe, she's become emotionally attached and she's almost sad to see him sink this low.

"Hello, Miss Frost," Anakin's firm voice does not betray him. If she couldn't see the expression on his face, Emma would not be aware of the terror he was experiencing.

She simply prepares herself, and waits for Anakin to grab a pen off her desk and jam it into his temporal lobe. No, wait -- he has the Force. If he wanted to kill himself by now, he would have done so.

A beat, and another, and then finally:

"Well, Anakin, you're a little early for your appointment today."

He blushes. It catches Emma completely off-guard. She has a disturbing thought: This poor, crazy man has been in much more embarrassing situations than this. He's become immune to losing his dignity.

Anakin still hasn't left her chair. And it's starting to make her angry. Emma is the doctor. She's the one in control. "Get up, please. You will sit on the couch until today's session is over."

He buries his head into his shoulder, and boyishly flutters his eyelashes. That might work on Padme, but not Emma. She grabs him by the upper arm and drags him to the couch. This gets a reaction out of him, and when he yelps just like his granddaughter's chihuahua, Emma slaps Anakin clear across the face.

Guilt hits her and for a moment, she feels as if she has actually smacked a puppy. Anakin is trying to hide the tears that are about to pour, with his arms crossed defiantly over the sparkly bodice.

"You have nice things, Emma." Anakin says haughtily, as if he's back in the Clone Wars and is dismissing one of his officers. "You should be very grateful to own such... finery."

In that moment, she hates him. But the hate only strengthens her resolve.

"I want you out of my sight."

Anakin nods. He keeps his chin raised like a frat boy.

He tries to walk out. Emma grabs him by the shell of her corset, now stretched out of proportion.

"I do not give up, Anakin Skywalker," she hisses. "You are a spoiled child who believes the universe revolves around him and his silly little problems. Your Master, your wife, your daughter, even Solo treat you as if you're someone to be pitied. It's revolting. I will change this."

She pushes him out the door. He falls on his knees in the corridor. The Harry Potter kids walk by and start giggling. Then Emma kicks him squarely in the bum, and feathers fly everywhere.

Luna Lovegood makes a lovely hat out of them.

-

"Ani, I think you've had more than enough bread."

"I need my strength, my beloved angel--"

The Skywalkers' dinner is interrupted when the door slams open and Emma Frost, clad entirely in the Darth Vader armor she bought at the mall, struts in. The matching helmet is clutched by a hand on her hip.

Anakin freezes.

Padme folds her hands neatly on her lap, smiling encouragingly at Emma.

Then her husband leaps from his seat. He knocks over their table.

"You have both been conspiring!" He flails his arms to and fro like an injured animal. "You... you..."

Emma does not make eye contact. She walks to the cupboard, takes out three bags of potato chips, and sits down on the Skywalkers' couch. She picks up the remote and turns on Spongebob Squarepants.

"Padme," Anakin growls, "Evict this woman from our household."

His wife's fierce gaze bores into his. "No, Anakin. Just watch."

This episode happens to feature a tearful reunion between Patrick and Spongebob after a nasty disagreement. The fat, floppy starfish is running toward the sponge, seeking forgiveness. Emma channels her acting skills and begins to howl, "Oh, gods, Obi-Wan! I'm so sorry, Master!" The material of the black cloak swishes as she sways back and forth in overdramatic emotional distress.

Then she tilts her head back, and pours the remainder of the chips directly into her mouth. Crumbs go everywhere.

Anakin's features seem to be carved in stone.

"I will not tolerate this unabashed mockery."

Emma resumes her composure. Despite wearing a cheap movie costume made of plastic, her presence still demands respect.

"It does not feel good when someone attempts to act precisely like you, does it, Anakin?"

He stares at his feet.

"Anakin," Padme says sharply, "What did you learn?"

He bites his lip. "Not to emulate others?"

Emma rolls her eyes. "That's good enough. Don't wear my clothing without permission again, Anakin, or I will wear this suit twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week."

Padme squeezes his shoulder. "All right," Anakin says. "All right."

He escorts her to the door.

"Emma?" He tentatively asks. "You said... without permission." His look is hopeful.

Emma stands there in the heavy Vader outfit, thinking about her gowns stretched out beyond repair. Skywalker is such a fatass.

"No, Anakin. But we'll go shopping sometime," she says, quietly enough for Anakin to have imagined it.

Emma makes her way back to her quarters and no one dares to stare at her rudely. And she thinks to herself that certainly, anyone who was forced to live in this hideous outfit for over twenty years would have ended up like Anakin.

I WON'T GET ON MY KNEES, DON'T MAKE ME DO THAT PELASE

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:54:40 GMT

I have lived in townhouses and apartments all my life. I think this is why I like rainy weather so much. There's something about a perfectly uniformed, desaturated neighborhood against a gray sky that reminds you of futuristic dystopian movies from the 80s. Any minute now, policing robots are going to come out of those creepy looking trees to make sure you haven't been reading books, and it's going to be so exciting. Also, rain sounds pretty.

This is a video of a dog milking a goat.

I wish I could wear the same white Puma sneakers everywhere, but this isn't okay.

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:30:00 GMT

PLEASE VIOLENTLY SHOVE SOME PROMPTS AT ME. I am having major writer's block right now and I'm trying to make myself at least open the two fics I was trying to finish, but I'm just watching MTV and avoiding making phone calls instead. You should know by now what I'll write. (I can't say I'll finish everything that's suggested, but I could really use a list to pick-and-choose from.) :D?

OMG IT'S JULY WHAT

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:23:46 GMT

- I have had Things happen in the past couple of days and haven't been able to go anywhere, and my friends haven't been mad at me for canceling our plans, even though I'm the one who moved 300 miles away and should work harder to be involved in their lives. ♥

- About three weeks ago I was at school late on a Sunday. I went to get dinner, was walking through the park at dusk on the way back to campus, and I just stopped. I stood dead in my tracks and stared and the most gorgeous cherry blossom tree I'd ever seen, with the sunlight pouring behind it. I don't know how long I stood there, just watching it with the contrasting bright grass and glimmering buildings in the background.

- My mom and I had a fight this morning and we stopped because my dog started crying.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:19:46 GMT

Spoilers/review for Fate of the Jedi: Omen~

Nice first shot, Christie Golden. I am impressed.

I am awful at discussing books as they go in chronological order, so here we go:

Kesh. I saw "FORGOTTEN PLANET OF SITH" in a summary and shook my head. But this was actually executed well. It's interesting to see a Sith Order who are different from the one we're used to. They raise families, support each other, and create bonds. They're definitely malovent, but it's going to be hard to see them as traditionally evil as Sidious or Caedus. There's lots of potential for ~the grey side~ to come into play once they make contact with the greater GFFA. I'm not sure how I feel about Vespara. She has more depth than I anticipated.

The GA. What I'm really loving about this series is how impartial I find myself being toward "the bad guys." It's awesome to see galactic politics so shaken up -- I never thought I'd be rooting for the character who tortured the main heroes decades earlier. But FOTJ is answering questions that have been asked for a while now; mainly, why do the Jedi expect to be hero worshipped, if the galaxy has been screwed over time and time again by Force-based religious fanaticism? Why should they have special allowances made?

And I was beyond thrilled in Outcast when Luke agreed. He wasn't haughty or in disbelief about his sentence. No "side" was fully in the right or wrong, and they sat down and reached an agreement which rattled Coruscant but was still the best decision for everyone.

Back to Omen. Deciding for the GA and Order to each have two sick Jedi is another show of fairness, even though that decision was hard to reach.

Daala is interesting. Regardless of whether she has ulterior motives or not, I think... she really does care about the general populace. You guys can tar and feather me for saying that, it's okay. :|

Luke and Ben. George, can we have a show just about the two of them? Please? I don't know if I can even somewhat-eloquently describe how much I adore the Skywalker men together. They're both still picking up the pieces, and seeing their struggles with both Mara and Jacen's deaths is beautiful. There's so much sadness at Luke being there for Ben when all Luke ever wanted at his son's age was a real father of his own, and Ben... knows this. Luke Skywalker is his hero now. He's starting to maturely shake the stigma of being a Skywalker that haunted him when he was younger, and is realizing that it's not that bad.

Ben attempted to flow-walk in the same spot where Jacen learned how to do it. He tried to warn him about the future, but obviously, it was futile. He went back to Luke, ashamed, and man, I like this kid a lot.

And obviously, all Mara mentions punch me right in the gut. Especially the mentions of her "making the trip along with them."

Han and Leia. Leia kicks so much ass in this book, it's amazing. Fiercest grandmother ever. And there's a great bit that caught me off guard which confirms Leia having long-lasting childhood memories of Breha. Again, unexpected. Han... stands around a lot and makes jokes. Jokes that made me smile, at least. They are cute.

Han and Leia's parenting.

......

............

...................

...... brb drawing a chart. Good luck Allana? :D?

Allana. I don't know if I like her or Ben better. She is the cutest SW child. I honestly don't know at this point if she's less stable than Jacen at her age, or more, or just the same. The comment about her smiling and being quiet when Han and Leia tried to talk to her about bad things bothered me a hell of a lot, but, at least Han and Leia tried talking to begin with, and they listened to her. Her idea about what to do with nexu cubs was relieving. At least she'd spent her time after a traumatic situation constructively and with a level head.

It's disturbing to know now that Ship was talking to her in Outcast. I hope it's able to talk to ALL Force-sensitives and not... just... :\

And the possible parallels about loving animals... uhh. I am going to go into my Safety Cubby and tell myself it's something common amongst ALL children. Yes. Okay.

Jaina and Jag. Awww. I really don't have that much of an opinion, but Han likes Jag, so I like Jag. At first I thought, "Eugh, could Jaina really still be herself with him?" when it was semi-official that this would happen. But showing Captain Cardboard's personality, the part of him that Jaina loves, is helping a lot. They're a good match. I think my acceptance comes from the Moffs hating him. A+ proposal, Mr. Fel.

Overall. "Needs moar Mirax" is my only selfish complaint. This book was fantastic and the whole series is reminding me that this era can be fun. It's making me excited for the post-ROTJ EU again. The editors at Del Ray make statements about wanting a more "grown-up", "realistic" galaxy, and for the first time, I'm enjoying it. If you've been disillusioned with the EU lit for a while now, I highly recommend you start in on this. It's nowhere NEAR as fire-and-brimstone as was predicted.

HEY DON'T LEAVE YET

I keep saying, "Okay, it's no one's fault that Nat went crazy and Allana had to watch helpless animals she wanted for pets get slaughtered," but MAYBE THEY SHOULD PLAY CANDYLAND WITH HER INSTEAD. OR. ENROLL HER IN SCHOOL. OR SOMETHING.

people like to hear their names

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:24:07 GMT

NO SIR I CAN'T

I am half-way done with Omen. Mara. Mara Jade come back here. Your son is fat. Fat as his grandpoppy.

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:44:15 GMT

RIP Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns. You did not deserve this.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm a fully compassionate person. I want Brunn to get what's coming to him. Sorry. But if he dies, the motherfucker is going to be seen as a martyr by white supremacists. There's no way around it.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:31:07 GMT

It's been a long night. Our kitchen and bathroom's been disemboweled more than we thought it would be, for faaar more many days than we expected, and ick, it's a mess. At least we got free pizza and oranges out of the deal. :D?

1. It's easier to say "no" to being taken advantage of than it is to say "no" to taking responsibility for someone else.

With the latter, there's always a third party who needs to be answered to. It's easy to say, "Whatever, just don't let it happen again," when it's just you and someone who always shows up late, or doesn't do their task, or whatever. But when there's another friend, or boss, or professor who needs to find out from YOU why YOUR acquaintance fucked up, I think we find it shameful to have to answer for the person who didn't man up. And it's doubly uncomfortable.

2. IRL people ask me for relationship advice and I have no idea why. I end up getting angry and yeah, as a lot of you know, my anger problem is that I can't tell how much anger I'm projecting when I'm really not furious. So a lot of times, my friends quietly whisper midway through, "O-o-okay, I can stop if this is upsetting you." :\

But it's just, HEY THIS ASSHOLE SAYS HE LIKES THAT I WENT ON A DIET AND LOST 35 LBS AND COOKED JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY AND THEN HE UNZIPPED HIS PANTS AND THEN THREW A HARD OBJECT AT ME WHEN I HAD NO REACTION WHAT'S HARASSMENT AND HE BECOMES EDWARD CULLEN WHEN I TRY TO TALK TO OTHER GUYS OMG NICOLE WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A STROKE?

And then I lecture for thirty minutes about confidence and then I make dumb metaphors about gazelles mating and you guys, why does anyone ever talk to me.

I kind of like it though that one of the lunch/break parks we share with Activision becomes the official Santa Monica Crying Park for Young Ladies on weekdays between 2-6pm.

It's a nice summer night here. I hope you guys in this hemisphere are having a nice summer night, too. ♥

ANNNNNNNNND HAPPY BIRTHDAY aizome

I made you a cake, but Anakin eated it. :(

Sun, 31 May 2009 01:59:31 GMT

Title: Pillow Talk
Characters/Pairings: Han/Leia, Obi/Siri, Bail/Breha, Obi/Ani, Corran/Mirax
Summary: Five couples. Five post-sex situations.
Rating: PG for references, but there's nothing very graphic.

Exhausted and loved, Leia wraps her arms tighter around the pillow, inhaling deeply. Han's scent is on everything in the Falcon's cabin. She burrows deeper into the mattress.

"You know what I noticed about you, when you ain't wearin' any clothes?"

The question catches her off-guard but she flops over onto her back. She takes a moment to answer.

"What?"

He props himself up on one elbow, heart still racing. "You don't look at me in the eye when you smile."

Leia's blush reaches all the way to the top of her breasts. There's even a bit of a snort as she digs her entire face back into the pillow.

"That sounds like something I'd do," she says, voice muffled. Laughter flows from both of them.

His rough fingers play over the expanse of her cool, creamy back. "Yeah? Well, what's with that?" Han's lips find their way toward the ticklish spot at the base of her neck. Her head snaps back and the laughter turns into shrieks.

She grits out a rude name and throws the rest of their pillows at him. Her face aches with joy.

Her eyes eventually settle on the bite marks on Han's shoulder. Leia shyly looks away.

And smiles.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"Shut up, Oafy."

"Maybe if I pull on your--"

"I told you to shut up!"

"I just thought--"

Siri's voice breaks into sobs. Obi-Wan puts a hand on her shoulder, but that only makes it worse, and she jerks from his touch.

"Get the kriff out!" Still naked, she gathers his Jedi tunics into a bundle and tosses them out into the living room. His jaw drops in shock. He didn't know this would be a disaster.

Adi walks into their apartment and sees Kenobi pulling on his pants to the soundtrack of her fifteen-year-old Padawan's crying fit. She smacks Obi-Wan clear across the face. He nods in reply.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bail closes his eyes as Breha says something over the commlink, and he thinks about her brightly-painted toenails curling under the warm comforter in their bedroom.

"And you?" On Alderaan, it's midday. The sunlight is probably making her tangled and mussed hair glow like a halo.

He's sleepy and blinks. "Mmm. What, dear?"

"Are you feeling better?"

Bail smiles, his long, relaxed sigh coming through her side of the comm as one long line of static. "Yes. Very much so." He's glad the Aldera Commerce Committee canceled their 13:00 meeting with Breha.

"Good. Well, maybe I should let you get back to sleep," her playful voice teases.

Morning on Coruscant won't come for two more lonely hours. He presses the comm closer to his ear. (It's never close enough.)

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There's always an alarm, there's always a siren.

Obi-Wan's pants are back around his slim waist before the sounds even register in Anakin's blissed mind. There are battle droids coming around the block--

His blue blade hums to life and he spins in one beautiful swift movement, taking down the three patrol clankers. The toned muscles move in swift arcs to reduce the droids to rubble. Obi-Wan turns back around to the sound of one man clapping.

"Please pull your underthings back on, Anakin," he frowns. A breeze blows their way. Anakin just stretches and cracks his joints.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Lovemaking didn't make them forget the sight--

The cool night air doesn't abate Corran's nausea. Our boy. Our boy. From their balcony, he can still see Mirax's nude form, curled into herself, eyes unblinking.

Her soul is drained. Mirax wants to say the words to bring him back to bed, but she's nearly paralyzed. There are 512 speckles of texture on their ceiling. She's counted. Sometimes there are more. Sometimes the numbers warble.

Another glance and she sees that her husband has sunk to his knees. She leaps from bed. The fog lifts.

"Corran?"

He leans back, then straightens himself up. Wipes his eyes as if nothing's wrong. Mirax leads him back underneath the haven of their sheets.

Their child has been encased in carbonite and plans are already in motion. Friends have called. Corran won't be told. Mirax will stop feeling so damn sorry for herself. She'll take care of it; she'll fix it; she'll keep them all from cracking.

That's what Corellian mothers do.

AND THEN prix_etoile TOLD ME TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT WES JANSON, INYRI FORGE & THEIR KID MEETING SOME MERBIWANS

Cal Janson pointed excitedly as he sat perched upon his father's shoulders. "Dad, I like that one! The one with all the eyeliner!"

Wes tilted his head, looking up at the eight-year-old. "The glam-rock Merbiwan? Yeah?"

"Yeaaaaahh," Cal eagerly nodded. "It's astral. It's my faaaavorite."

Inyri shuddered. Merbiwans creeped her out. Their appearance was bad enough, but seeing a whole school of half-Jedi, half-fish in captivity in the New Republic Zoo was even weirder than seeing one on the Holonet.

"Mom! Which ones do you like?"

She adjusted her dark glasses and crossed her arms. "Ehm. I don't know, Cal. Whichever ones you like."

Her son howled in protest. "That's cheating!" Cal insisted. At the sound, the Merbiwans were shocked. Their eyes widened in fear and they dropped their tea and crumpets into their water habitat.

"Definitely cheating," Wes agreed.

Inyri rolled her eyes and took a death stick out of her purse. "I don't have a favorite, then. They're all kriffing freaky as hell."

One of the Merbiwans, a gothic lolita man-princess, stared at her sadly. His pearl-encrusted tiara shimmered in the sunlight. His ginger beard wobbled with threats of tears.

"Mom," Cal whispered, "You hurt his feelings."

"Sweetheart," Inyri grumbled, "It's just an animal. It doesn't care what I say."

Cal looked devastated, but not as much as the Merbiwan. His ample breasts (which are what measure a Merbiwan's level of happiness) drooped nearly to his bellybutton. Cal saw and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. A crowd of tourists noticed, too, and were glaring at the trio.

"Look what you did!" Wes hissed under his breath, glancing sideways.

Inyri sputtered for a response. "I... um...."

She groaned and walked closer to the glass separating her from the scaly, majestic creatures. "I'm sorry," she offered, still keeping her hands inside her pockets. "You're... beautiful. I wish I could pull off glitter eyeshadow like you." With every word, she wanted to just crawl into a hole and die. But the Merbiwan's breasts started to perk up, and the crowd cheered.

"Thanks, Mom," Cal smiled warmly.

Inyri just backed away from the tank. "Whatever. Don't mention it. Please." The Merbiwan blew her a kiss of gratitude, his lacy bikini top bobbing with thankfulness.

"Let's-- let's just go to the gift shop, please," Inyri begged, disturbed. "I'll buy you two whatever you want."

Their faces lit up with joy. Cal chose a plush jungle-explorer Merbiwan doll (complete with Indiana Jones' head for nipple censor bars). Wes chose an Ewok Merbiwan doll. Because Ewok Merbiwans definitely exist.

Fri, 29 May 2009 04:44:55 GMT

I thought Stephen King lived up north? I don't think he's in the area to murder Floridians. This is the dude's website.

I was so exhausted when I came home today that for a glorious three seconds, as I was checking all of our doors to make sure they were locked before taking a nap, I hallucinated that Morgan Freeman was trying to figure out the GPS on his cellphone in my living room. It was a good nap.

Despite my anger with Pelosi, it still doesn't stop me from shipping her with Harry Reid.

Here's a thing:

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

5/26/09 Prop 8 protest

Wed, 27 May 2009 22:14:55 GMT

LOOK it's the mayor of West Hollywood. Well... um... yeah no, my eyesight is horrible and for the longest time, I thought a kid sitting on his daddy's shoulders was the mayor. The mayor of Los Angeles, a few of the plaintiffs & lawyers straight from Sacramento, a whole bunch of city council members, George Takei, Drew Barrymore, & Kathy Griffin made speeches on stage, too. ~~Of course I didn't SEE any of them, for reasons stated above~~~ I wanted to get more shots of some of the signs.

The march was down Santa Monica Blvd, starting at the edge of WeHo and going to Hollywood & Highland. Everyone went four miles in an hour and a half, not too bad. Met a lot of rad people.

My friends & I didn't know where it would end up, so we parked in Beverly Hills and then stressed out about getting back to the car. The walk back itself wouldn't have been so bad, but it was 10pm when the three-minute sit-in in the intersection ended, and we wanted to be back home before midnight. (No, really, three minutes. Possibly two and a half. And the streets were already blocked off. I... don't get it.) So I went on my first subway adventure, and then, um, promptly headed back, because apparently, we can't read. Whatever. It was a nice walk back. Plenty of other folks doing the same thing.

The important thing was that it left everyone feeling a lot more hopeful. Strength in numbers. It reminded me that 2010 is too far off for me to already be a Debbie Downer about, and while it's going to take a lot of work to get this back on the ballot, we can do it. It was slightly depressing that this event was planned no matter what the outcome of the court's decision, and as uplifting as it was, spirits could have been a million times higher.

Also I learned that I need to exercise more, because I walked about ten miles last night and today I feel like I could beat up Michael Phelps and a bear at the same time.

"Have fun and be safe, ladies!" smiled the LAPD.

Mon, 25 May 2009 01:54:47 GMT

A YOUNGISH BLACK CROW FELL INTO OUR YARD AND CAN'T FLY AWAY. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I'M CONSIDERING CALLING A RE-LOCATION SERVICE, BUT IT OBVIOUSLY HAS A NEST IN A NEARBY TREE BECAUSE ITS PARENTS ARE CIRCLING THE HOUSE AND YELLING AT IT FOR BEING THE ~*SPECIAL*~ KID OF THE FAMILY.

MY MOTHER IS ACTING LIKE THE BIRD IS A KITTEN AND IS TRYING TO COAX IT INTO A BOX.

IT'S NOT GOING INTO THE BOX.

ETA: CRISIS AVERTED. THANKS GUYS ♥

Fri, 22 May 2009 17:37:44 GMT

Even though just the headline of this article sent me into a rage, I can't help but wonder if it would be less if it wasn't written only a few days after The Sarah Connor Chronicles was canceled. Because obviously, no women enjoy this franchise.

In Terminator Salvation, we'll get to see John's wife Kate super prego and supposedly using her physician skills to help in the war against the machines. It can't hurt to subtly imply that there might be some sweet, tender moments between John Connor and his knocked up wifey.

I don't have words. Eat a dick, Fox.

(I am done complaining on the Internet for the moment. Yesterday after school, I came home and watched more hours of True Life on MTV than I care to admit to. I need a new job.)

if i stumble they're gonna eat me alive

Thu, 21 May 2009 04:09:50 GMT

Sometimes I put a sweater on my dog.

1. go to your profile and copy your list of friends.
2. bold those you've met in person.
3. italicize those you've spoken to on the phone.
4. underline those you've texted.

~~LOL what the hell? It's not bolding Lid or Kyle. :\ LJ is offended by our meeting. Sorry guys.~~ Oh man, let me know who/what I've forgotten, because I already have D:

1strangepirate, 90648, _carmelita, _live_each_day_, aeeee, agaricus, aizome, albumsontheside, alibi_factory, allagainst, amphetamine_47, anewlife, ardentdelerium, auntiesamn, averii, bambiraptor, beatcity, bernie_laraemie, bitterkiss, bitterness, blushingmad, bodeewan, brokedowndreams, buff_iroh, burnlikethesun, carriebradshaw_, celosia, chargasm, chlorrel, citizenjess, cloudy, cosmic_celery, damselgraffiti, deelaundry, djcati, dramaculous, elthegeneral, eventide, evoluer, fadingslowly, favyan, fialleril, flaxenescapee, fox_gloves, fran_darts, fuzzmonkeys, gandolforf, geekfreak03, general_solo, giventofly37, grammaire, helenquest, hugelaurie, i_heart_cameron, iheartwilson, imadra_blue, inflightdata, inlaterdays, irenadorable, jaceekei, jacens_heart, jane_hidell, jedi_em, julsiggy, kaaaaathryn, karenmiller, katowns, kissmahfeets, kitakatzz, legrotesque, lumy12, luscious_sarah, lyraeinne, makemerun, midnightcalling, milo1047, ms_erupt, naivething, octygold, ocyrus_dragono, one_the_larch, onewayfreak, onyxyno, palmettohaven, patientalien, peoplewantducks, phoenixmage13x, pirate_eggie, polly_moopers, presqueciel, prix_etoile, profanity, pronker, purplesneakers, queenfuteki, radio_star, ring34_ani, rsinik, rustyredux, sevendaymile, shoedog, shoiryu, simmysim, skywalkerssound, sleepingeidolon, snarkel, soonersurrender, sparklyjames, spitefairy, steelrails, stephbass, surrendering, sushi_kitten, suzyx, tanathir, temple_mistress, tenel_ka, theghostgirl, therpgqueen, thevelvetlies, tommy_toe, twat_jefferson, undeniablynikki, vainchicken, venusfreak, vfdj42, weaselwoman13, were_lemur, wheelbarrow, xtinethepirate, zero_dances, zestylime

I can't wink without one side of my face folding over. I would make an awful spy :(

Mon, 18 May 2009 01:28:21 GMT

- I liked the Supernatural finale for every reason everyone else disliked it. It was so good in an oh my god, are they serious, this is fantastic way.

- Guys. Don't throw stuff at me: I'm disappointed that Adam didn't get to stick around. I thought it was a terrible idea but it could have been so, so much worse. Dammit. I use that reasoning a lot, don't I?

- I think my DVR cut off when it shouldn't have, so I have absolutely no idea what happened to Jimmy's wife and daughter. :| Can someone fill me in?

- Rubbbbbbbyyyyyy. Her final scene was ridiculous/hilarious/amazing/AWESOME (EVEN YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT) enough to make up for killing her. And for a female character on this show, she had a long life.

- I am so fucking excited for next season. LOL APOCALYPSE.

- I am one of the last people to see Star Trek, and

I'm nervous talking about Star Trek because I've never been a Trekkie. I feel like someone who went to see Watchmen without reading the novel first.

I adored it. It was the most enjoyable movie I've watched in a lonnng time. It was a lot different from how I thought it would be. I love the idea of alternate timelines, and from what my friends have told me, I was able to piece together what I wouldn't have otherwise understood. A+ will watch again.

- Last night, I couldn't remember the name of my tiny!Leia's PB. I searched around on imdb for a little while and then promptly freaked out when I saw that it was Genevieve Buechner, who's playing Tamara Adama on Caprica. I... get my kicks where I can. :|

- I'll try to be on AIM tonight, but I forgot that I said I would bake cupcakes for some GSA function tomorrow. I thought I learned my lesson about volunteering myself.

- sevendaymile! Someone I know IRL is listed as a fan of American Indie on Facebook. They didn't hear about it from me. :-O Your promotion skills rock.

Wed, 13 May 2009 04:34:12 GMT

IT'S DUGGAR TIME

I thought my iPod died today. That was an awful ten minutes.

HALF OF A SIP OF A WINE COOLER.

Mon, 11 May 2009 03:42:01 GMT

P.S. I hope all you moms had a great day! ♥

Mon, 04 May 2009 02:14:23 GMT

1. I wrote this for prix_etoile, because she's been having a rotten time lately. :|

Title: Oh, Inverted World
Rating: G
Characters: Allana, Jacen, TKKKK
Notes: This is really corny, and I'm not going to apologize. ♥

Jacen's fingers rap on her door.

"Allana."

His voice is soft and non-judgemental.

"Allana, open the door. Please."

She sniffles and hugs the pillow closer to her chest. She used to clutch Jacen the tauntaun, but she's not a baby. She's ten years old, a big girl, and definitely doesn't need some dumb old toy.

(Except for when she does.)

"Allana," there's a genuine tinge of sadness to his voice now.

Allana slips off the bed and straightens her gown. Her steps toward the door are intentionally slow; she doesn't want him to have the joy of knowing how much his concern means to her.

Her arms cross over her chest as she opens the bedroom door.

"Yes?" She doesn't want him to know how excited she is to see him after almost half a year. Her button nose wrinkles in feigned annoyance.

"I--" Jacen nervously rubs the back of his neck with his hand. He sighs, taking a deep breath, and his shoulders slump. Then he pulls out a package from his robes. "Congratulations, Allana. Your tutors won't stop raving over you."

Oh, she's always been good at hiding her expression, but she still keeps her head down as she gently opens the box. And at this, her eyes bulge open. It's an emerald gem set on a silver ring with Dathomiri writings gently sculpted along the base and the stone, criss-crossing over each component.

She slips it on her finger, biting her lower lip. "It's Teneniel's, isn't it?"

Jacen's nervousness doesn't abade as he nods. "Your mother and I found it last year. We thought it'd be perfect for..." his voice trails off. "I'm sorry it's late."

A graduation ceremony in the Hapan palace is a lonely event; it's even lonelier when the tiny princess being promoted to the next grade doesn't even have her father present. It'd be nice if she wasn't the only student, too.

"It's beautiful," she says quietly. "But you didn't have to get me anything. I just wish you'd been here."

Jacen starts to say something. She shakes her head.

"You don't have to explain. I understand."

He sighs. "You shouldn't have to understand, Allana. You deserve--" he stops again. "You wanted me here. I said I'd come, and I'm late. I missed the whole party."

"You and Ben got called away," she's consoling him now as if she's the parent, but in all of their extended families, this isn't that uncommon. "I was mad. I'm still mad. But it's not your fault."

In the Force, she can tell how much he wants to embrace her. She takes his hand into her own, and smiles.

"Thank you for the gift, Jedi Jacen. I love it." They both break out into a grin, because she hasn't called her father by that name in almost six years. He picks her up, and her copper hair fans over his shoulders. Jacen gently rocks her back and forth.

"So, are you excited for the summer?"

She wraps her arms around his neck even tighter. "It'd be better if I could come to Coruscant."

He smoothes the hair back off her forehead. "Things aren't so good right now, princess. You know that."

"It's just a trip, Daddy." Allana signals to be put down. She leads them back into her bedroom, and hops up onto her bed. "I don't have to stay. I just.... I miss everyone."

Jacen's small, scratchy beard needs to be trimmed. He looks out of place amongst the pink frills and blankets. "I know. Your family wants to see you again, too. They ask me about you all the time. Especially Aunt Mara."

Silence overtakes them and he melodramatically flops down on her bed. Allana rolls her eyes, still smiling.

"We'll talk to your mother about it," he finally says. She screeches and jumps up and down on her bed, eventually misplanting a foot on her father's stomach. He lets out an "oof" and stands up again, placing her on top of his shoulders.

"Let's go find her," Jacen spins around in a circle. Allana continues to giggle. "We'll go get some dessert, too-- ahhh!"

Allana cups her hands over his eyes. "I can't see!" Her father gasps. "Oh, Force! Allana! Help me!"

Her shrieks reach an all-time high and when her cheeks start to burn from joy, she takes a deep breath and stops. "I love you, Daddy."

Jacen squeezes her ankles. "Love you too, Allana."

In the Palace kitchen, there's only one slice of pie left. Tenel Ka lets them split it, claiming to have never cared for that variety. (She's the Queen. She's a good liar.)

2. I need a new phone. My main phone is a tiny Verizon pre-paid deal with as much memory as a keychain calculator. I want something with a keyboard because I text people more than I call, and using numbers to compose messages is irritating. It's never fast enough and I type like a motherfucker. But eugh. Money.

3. I've been in a funk lately because school is going fine in the long-run, but right now, I'm taking my math and science requirements and I feel like such a dumbass. I think I'm probably going to fail Algebra at midterms. I keep making the silliest of mistakes.

I mean, I've always spent my weekends at school, but now things seem like they've changed for some reason. For the first time since I started college, my lack of a life is starting to bother me. Okay, there's worse things I could be doing all the time other than school, but I think I'm starting to get jealous of my friends who actually get to have weekends. I've felt lonelier than usual lately.

Maybe I need to eat more apples.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:29:30 GMT

1.

My shrink contacted me today for the first time since my medication problems, and we had a coversation that lasted one minute, fifty-eight seconds. I was coming out of a meeting when she called and she was finished by the time I reached the elevator. I think she was reading questions off of a list. I kind of just stood there in disbelief, thought, "Fuck this," and went to look for the school counselor's contact information.

I have an appointment for Friday and I'm really going to use the time for all its worth. I sooort of know the counselour; she hung out at some GSA meetings for anyone who needed her and I have some friends who see her, too.

I'm sick of discussing my mania, I'm sick of discussing what physical problems I have on my medication, and I'm sick of just being a patient. I'm not on any medication right now and I feel fine and I want myself evaluated before we have another go.

I know I can pinpoint all of my ~personal problems~ to where they started and I really can't wait to talk them out. I've been thinking a lot about how much I've changed in college, and going back, I feel like I was hiding from everything while in high school. I was reading my journals from when I was 12/13 and I could tell week by week how worse I was getting. I could pinpoint individual, cryptic issues and even if I was a different person, I would have been able to tell that it was all going to come to a breaking point. Anyone would have wanted to hide once it was over.

I have to acknowledge that I'm not a bad person before I can finally put it all behind me. I have to truly know that the things that happened to me weren't my fault. I'm overly nice, and I get taken advantage of so fucking easily, because people see how willing I am to bend over backwards. Their anger with me gets turned into twisted guilt. And while in the past couple of years, I've been speaking up for myself and telling people when to gtfo, I still question myself way too much.

2.

All of this is about the camping I did with my Girl Scout troop. I also went to good ol' fashioned GS camp in 4th grade, but that sucked and really isn't worth remembering. (Except for the stuff with my period and a lack of toiletries. PLEASE DON'T ASK.)

1. One trip was in the winter of sixth grade. We didn't leave until late in the evening. 6 moms were coming and they all worked during the day. The drive into the mountains took an hour and a half. We all stopped at McDonalds for dinner. We drove the rest of the way through a really creepy, really cool fog. When we got there, all the moms went to check in while we went to our assigned cabin and chose bunk beds. The other troop we were sharing with showed up a few minutes later. The leader started barking orders and telling us where we were going to sleep. I was 11 and yeah, guys, I've pretty much been a know-it-all twat my entire life, so I ~took control of the situation~ (oh my goddddd) and explained that our leaders had told us where to sleep, and an epic fight worthy of Morgan Freeman narration over who got which bunks broke out in both troops.

It snowed that weekend. It was the second time in my life I'd ever been in it. I've always hated sports so seeing a snow-covered soccer field was like Heaven. Natasha's mom took us on a 3-hour hike up a mountain that morning. Everything was thick with dying fall foliage and we couldn't see the sky until we reached the top. Everyone oooh'ed and aww'ed over the view, but the best part was the lone house I could see 10 miles away. It was hidden behind pine trees, far far away. I could see the bustling lights inside the house, and I instantly knew that I wanted to grow up to be an artist who lived in an electricity-guzzling house surrounded by huge pine trees with fog every morning.

People on religious retreats always have similar feelings when they hike back down a mountain, I guess because of the elevation. But I still loved how light-headed I felt. We had a snowball fight as we made our way back and waved to everyone we saw. I knew that I could live anywhere, as distant from the city as I could without any neighbors, as long as I wasn't alone and had electricity. The moms were all worried I was going to get sick and have to go home since I'd fallen in the mud and was wet, but I laughed it off and told them not to worry. I got sick and had to go home. :|

2. The summer before 7th grade was the most monumental period of my life. We went to a different camp, further east of San Diego, further away. Maybe it's the association of everything else that summer, but I think it marked the end of my childhood. I was bratty, hated all authority (except my parents but shhh), bitched about every social injustice!!11 I felt deemed worthy of bitching about, and was pretty much everything a pre-teen is stereotyped to be.

The cabins and mess hall were all in a line that ended with the most kickass playground in the world. There was a wooden structure about three stories tall. You could enter by various steps or by climbing a 30-foot wide rope net. There was a huge oak tree with a single swing and we stood in line to go on for HOURS. I've never seen one go so high before except at carnivals. I remember myself and another girl from my troop pushing one of the younger ones in the waning sunlight, when everyone else was sleepy. The sun was always shining through the trees. I think we'd ditched some of the optional activities (we tried archery but hated it and decided to bounce to the petting zoo.)

We went on a midnight hike to up a solid granite mountain face. At the top, about 100 of us sat there and listened to ghost stories. There were lights and speakers hidden there to add ambiance. We came back down and instantly fell asleep. There was a freak thunderstorm the next day, and everyone kept playing despite the rain.

My best friend Chelsea was fighting with her mom, Jane. I remember the other troop leaders being mad at her and watching Chelsea drift further and further away from everyone. The next year, she got kicked out of school for having esctacy in her locker and I don't know what she's doing at this point. I saw her at a craft fair right before I started 9th grade. She told me she wanted to go into Animation. I don't think she graduated high school. She made a livejournal entry about stealing groceries a few years ago and that's the last I've heard from her.

The way my mom talked about it with me, telling a child that another adult was being unfair, made me feel too grown up. It took away my impression that all adults were right no matter how superficially angry I could be at them. The truth was scary but probably saved my life.

I ended up going to that camp twice, but I can't remember which years. I remember being so at peace and thinking that it would be just like living in a commune. (lol no.) I wanted to stay there forever.

3. There was a trip right before 5th grade summer break at the city lake. There was a pygmy horse walking around with a huge shlong almost bigger than the horse itself. And the horse was ready to mate. The keeper kept yelling, "Put that thing away!" at it. That became our way of greeting each other the rest of the weekend. I was horrified when I realized my mom heard me yelling it and knew where it originated, and it was the first time I ever made a sex joke in front of her. But all the leaders quietly agreed, "They are going into middle school, they should learn that phrase."

3. This is my current mood:

4. THIS IS HOW BIG WILLIAM ADAMA'S DONG IS

5. This is the Clown Wras character I have a new Pez dispenser of: Ahsoka. She came with cherry flavored re-fills.

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:16:13 GMT

Bea Arthur passed away. :(

That's so heart-warming, it makes me want to die in an airless vacuum <333

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:58:00 GMT

On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin became the first men to walk on the moon. The following speech, revealed in 1999, was prepared by Nixon's then speechwriter, William Safire, to be used in the event of a disaster that would maroon the astronauts on the moon:

Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.

These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.

These two men are laying down their lives in mankind's most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.

They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.

In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.

In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.

Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man's search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.

For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.

It would be weird for to look up at the moon and imagine perfectly preserved bodies there. But I already know about the dead chimpanzees and whatnot underneath the monoliths so it's not that big of a deal to me.

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 02:14:21 GMT

Title: You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away
Characters: Jaina, Dab
Rating: G
Summary: She knows he's not to blame.

Jaina curses and picks up the commlink, wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

"This is Solo," she complains.

"I won! I won!" Her baby brother's voice wakes her up like a bucket of cold water until she remembers.

She grits her teeth. The decision to remove Jedi observers came over a week ago, and yet, Dab has contacted her three times. She wonders if he ever actually got the memo; she wouldn't doubt Daala's incompetence.

"Do you realize what time it is, Dab?" she moans.

"That's why I'm calling you! It's only half an hour until the premiere of Kessel Death Defiers! Get dressed."

Jaina blinks, wondering if she's still asleep, or if the Force simply hates her. She's willing to put her credits on both.

"What are you yammering about?"

She senses impatience on the other line. There's an eerily familiar irritation in the air, as if Anakin just tried to explain droid schematics and it's taking her too long to catch on.

"I was the hundredth caller. I won. There's an extra ticket burning a hole in my pocket."

Jaina bangs her head against the wall. "No. I have to get up early. I am not going to see some ridiculous vid with you." And she knows it's not just that -- it's because the order from the Alliance is over. Being seen with him would be inappropriate. Too many people would ask questions. There can't be any indication at all that she's broken the rules and still needs to be watched.

"Jaina, come on."

This time, the whine tugs at her heart.

"Dab..."

"It has lots of speeder crashes. You love speeder crashes."

She pulls on her tunics and robe and meets him on the Temple landing dock. They spend all night throwing popcorn at each other and when they both start yelling about acceptable engine malfunction realism in Holofilms, they're asked to leave the establishment. Her hair reeks of butter the next day.

It's not that she doesn't hate Dab. And grief for her brothers doesn't still attack her in the middle of sunny, warm afternoons.

Jaina just really loves speeder crashes.

Title: Endangerment
Characters: Leia; mentions of Mara, Ben, Luke, Jacen, Shmi
Rating: G
Summary: Maybe it'll be okay.

It's two years into her brother's exile and the room still feels like him. She allows herself to smile as she enters through the doorway, long robes swishing behind her.

(Leia saw them a week ago. She kissed Ben on the cheek and thanked him for keeping her twin looking so young.)

The box in her hands is wide and deep. She begins with the north wall. The first holo is an animation of Mara smirking over her shoulder. The two women make eye contact, one alive and serene, the other one only a memory.

More fill up the box until it becomes heavy and she has to set it down. She switches each one off with caring and steady fingers.

Then there's a flickering one over the spot Luke's bureau used to be. The Skywalkers and Solos are on Ossus. Ben is still tiny enough to be held on Mara's hip. Her grin seems to take up the entire image; Leia leans in with one arm wrapped around her sister-in-law's shoulders, wind swirling around them.

Shame hits her like a tidal wave and she brings a hand to her mouth. Sobs shake her body until she takes a deep breath and sits down on the floor. Years of soothing words and self-validation completely vanish and Leia's back to only seeing the red-headed toddler whose mother is dead because of her son, because of what she failed to see, because of their legacy.

Leia had a grandmother once. Bail's mother was a bombshell with wild, upswept hair, a red mouth as smart as Leia's and arms which never grew weary from hugs. But these days, she wishes she had memories of Shmi.

She daydreams. Leia knows what she would ask her. Does she wish she'd never had a son? Would she have done the unthinkable to prevent her child's descent? Does she forgive herself? If she were alive, and able to walk down a crowded street, would she live in fear of flung insults? Could she see a depressed man without wondering if her son murdered his family?

The holo from Ossus eventually joins the others in the box. Luke finally gave in and asked Leia to bring what he'd left behind the next time they arrange to meet. She watches the traffic outside, air taxis rushing by, wondering if she'll ever get sick of watching a Coruscant sunset.

... I adored Outcast. A lot.

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:20:44 GMT

A meme from some of my pals:

What Fictional Character Do You Associate Me With?

If you have threads, link me to them!

ETA: Link fixed. Thanks Dee!

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:28:53 GMT

Last night, prix_etoile told me that those kids we ship had a scene in that space book that came out, so I wrote this.

Steam rose off the warm mug of tea as Leia set it down next to her bed. Her muscles felt wonderfully sore after a day of training her new Padawan, and she closed her eyes as she began her evening's meditation--

"Yeah! You better run!"

Leia hummed a soft ancient Alderaanian hymn to herself. The night air was cool against her skin, and she pulled her robe around her small frame like a warm embrace.

"Mr. Solo, please, I'm so sorry! It won't happen again!"

She finally looked out her window at the commotion. On their apartment's landing platform, her elderly husband was pelting Chance Calirissian with the naked young man's own boots, pants, tunic, belt, and underwear.

Chance hopped on one foot, hastily attempting to pull his pants on. He nearly toppled over the edge. Allana's red hair billowed in the wind as she ran toward the scene. Her quickly-donned towel threatened to slip. She grabbed onto her grandfather's arm and tugged him away from Chance's speeder. The seventeen-year-old was able to shakily fly away.

Han gave one final curse and ran to the hangar where he kept the Falcon. Leia watched the ship take off into the night sky. Her granddaughter's eyes followed both spacecraft, her face one of horror. Allana's shoulders slumped and she made her way back inside.

Leia sighed. She knew it was time to perform the almost-weekly ritual. Time to wipe the streams of mascara off her grandbaby's face. Find her some warm clothes. Turn on an asinine, over-feminine Holofilm. Repeat, "No, dear, Grandpa's not really going to kill him," like a mantra.

But first, Leia went to her terminal and sent a quick message to her friend.

Lando,

Lock your doors.

All my love,

Leia

Maybe later she could draw a nice, long bath.

*******

This is my first Easter on my own, and it's actually been nice. I have the whole apartment to myself and I'm eating the cotton candy my mom sent me. And I'll probably bake cookies tonight. Save some for later, Augustus :(